So Different From This Hell I'm Living
by Gleeauthor11
Summary: At sixteen Shelby was forced to give up her baby girl knowing she'd never see her again. But when a chance encounter takes place Shelby will stop at nothing to keep her daughter from suffering the same fate as she did all those years ago.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: So wow its been about a year since I've posted a fan fic. I usually get ideas but they fizzle out and aren't worth posting. This one I think will stick around a while. I hope so. This is a very different story from what is usually on here. This is along the lines of the dystopia genre—think Hunger Games and this is the genre I write as I try to become an author. I hope you enjoy this and don't find it too out there for the Glee fandom.**

So Different From This Hell I'm Living

Screams echoed from down the long brightly lit hallway as Shelby Corcoran exited the elevator, her white tennis shoes squeaking against the freshly polished floor. It was so white the reflection of the lights hurt her eyes and she blinked. Robbing some of the sleep from her eyes, she adjusted the blue ribbon holding back her long brown hair just as another scream pierced the air.

_Just because I can't be a Breeder any longer doesn't mean I can't help out. _

There were only certain people who could have kids-called Breeders- and up until she'd had her first child she'd been one too. The sole purpose of the Breeders was to have babies and give them to those who couldn't. When they no longer could they were sent outside The Facility to live in a special part of society. The Breeders quarter they called it. They were still monitored but not as heavily. They could learn a trade and work for food.

The day Shelby found out she could no longer do her job as a Breeder thrilled and scared her all at once. She'd been sixteen when she'd had her first and only child. A few months later she's gotten sick and that was that. She'd only lived in the Breeders quarter a few months before getting brought back here as a nurse and caregiver. Caregivers were with the women during the last weeks till the birth or if they were high risk. Shelby had a wonderful caregiver that had helped her through every stage in the birth. Hopefully Shelby could provide that comfort to a young girl.

Another scream shattered the silence and Shelby hurried down the hall. Her latest charge Quinn was in labor and they'd just called her. Idiots. The girl was sixteen and scared to death. She needed someone with her. Not only that but she'd need someone after the birth. It was always the hardest. Shelby cried for weeks after she'd given birth to her baby girl, to the point they'd put her on anti depression medicine.

Stepping into the room, Shelby rushed to Quinn's side, smoothing back her blonde hair away from her sticky forehead. "I'm here, Quinn, I'm right here." She allowed Quinn to squeeze her fingers as another cry of pain tore from her throat.

"How much longer?" Quinn asked once the contraction subsided. The exhaustion in her voice brought tears to Shelby's eyes. All this pain and she wouldn't even get to hold her baby. "I don't want-"

Shelby put a hand over Quinn's mouth. "I know but you can't let them know that."

The doctors had to think all the woman here were okay with giving up their babies. If they suspected they weren't they'd have the woman and child killed. The first time she'd heard the rule she'd nearly suffered a meltdown. To keep themselves and their babies safe the women couldn't give any indication they cared about their babies. They were nothing more than a service, a way for others to have babies. They were not mothers. But not for one second did Shelby let herself believe it. Deep down she was the mother to the baby girl she'd had. One day she'd find her. She would be sixteen now.

Shelby shook her head to shake off the thoughts. Even thinking like this was dangerous. Her focus now was Quinn and getting her through the birth. It was another few hours of labor before Quinn was ready to push. The actual pushing lasted only seconds and Shelby only saw a glimpse of the tiny baby girl before she was taken away.

"It's a girl," Shelby told the exhausted teen, wiping a damp cloth over Quinn's face.

A tear slopped down Quinn's cheek and Shelby wrapped her in an embrace, giving her permission to express her feelings, her whole body shaking with quiet sobs. Shelby stayed with her until she fell asleep, slipping out of the room to sleep a little and shower before her new charge arrived. Her name was Rachel. She was a high risky pregnancy and due to overcrowding at the facility across the street the Powers at Be were sending her here.

After quick nap, shower and breakfast Shelby was ready to meet her charge. Walking to the front desk, she checked the sign in log. Good. Rachel was here, in room one fourteen. Going to the room, Shelby got to the door just as it opened and Dr. Kennedy walked out.

"Her blood pressure is high. She needs to stay on bed rest." He gave a warm smile, "I'm glad it's you taking care of her. You always know how to keep the first timers calm." Patting her shoulder, he walked down the hall.

Shelby rolled her eyes, stepping into the room. It was best not to let the doctor's words get to her. The girl had her head down but when she looked up Shelby let a gasp It was like staring at a younger version of herself. Same eye color, same hair color, same bone structure. Shelby sucked in a breath. Was this the daughter she'd given up sixteen years earlier? _Don't go there, Shelby. _

But how could she not? The girl looked exactly like her. She took a breath, though it did little to still her pounding heart and walked over to fhe bed. "Hi I'm Shelby. I'll be your caretaker until-"

"Until I'm forced to give up my child. I know how it works and I don't understand how you can just willingly give up your child." The bitterness and total resentment of the system was not what Shelby had been expecting. Usually first timers were too afraid to say anything that might get them into trouble.

"Shhh," Shelby shushed. "Don't say that too Loud." She checked the screen keeping track of Rachel's vitals. "I know this is hard. I was a Breeder too. I had one child before there were complications and I couldn't anymore." She exhaled. Hopefully this would keep Rachel quiet for the time being.

"Is it okay if I go beck to deep?" Rachel asked after a moment of silence.

"Of course." Shelby helped her sit up, adjusting the pillows and putting the bed back. "Go to sleep." The girl was asleep before Shelby could take a seat next to the bed. Fumbling for Rachel's hand, she gave her fingers a gentle squeeze. There was no question about it. The girl lying in the bed was indeed her daughter.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I'd like to thank everyone for the story alerts, and reviews. I'm so glad you are all liking the story. It's a fun one to write! Here is the next chapter! **

Chapter Two

Rachel slept until almost nine and then Shelby helped her shower and dress, much to her dislike. "I'm pregnant not a china doll. I won't break." She rested her hands on her stomach. "I named her Charity." A tear slipped down her cheek. "How did you cope knowing your child wasn't really yours?"

Shelby grabbed a brush off the table, trying to work through how to answer. "I just had to tell myself I was helping others and that I was giving them a wonderful gift."

"Not by choice," Rachel muttered as Shelby continued to brush through her hair. "I love my dads, I do, but I always wondered about my mom. What she was like! If she sang, if she liked Broadway. I know she was a Breeder too. You're great and all Shelby but I really want to find my mom."

Shelby paused mid-stroke, the brush falling to the bed, the motion enough to get Rachel's attention. For a moment they stared at each other, and tears came to Shelby's eyes as the truth registered on Rachel's face.

"Are you my-am I-"

Shelby's shaking legs forced her to the bed and she forced herself to look Rachel-her daughter-in the eye. She'd dreamed of this moment, especially in the beginning. Now that it was here-well she was at a loss at what to do. Or say for that matter. Without a DNA test they couldn't be sure. But how could Rachel not be her daughter? They looked exactly alike. "It would seem that way. But listen, no one can know about this. It's unheard of for a Breeder to be reunited with their children."

The disappointment that flooded Rachel's face tore at Shelby's heart and she wanted more than anything to take the girl and run far away, never looking back.

"How do we find out? I don't want to get attached and then have you not be-you know."

Shelby nodded. She understood that. "Well the one thing you should know about me is that you will become attached to me whether we are related or not."

Rachel's mouth lifted into a smile. "I guess I can't argue with that. I just don't want this next month to end." More tears fell from her eyes as she placed a hand on her stomach. "She's kicking really hard. She likes when I sing."

Shelby helped Rachel lay down, propping pillows behind her back. "So did mine. She'd only calm down if I sang to her, especially Broadway." Shelby seated herself in the chair next to the bed.

Rachel laughed, rubbing her stomach. "Maybe we are related. I wanted to be on Broadway before well-" She looked at her stomach. "How come no one thinks this is wrong?"

Shelby stole a glance at the door. If anyone overheard they'd both be in trouble. "People have just accepted it. Everyone has their place." She placed a hand on top of Rachel's. "I know exactly what you're going through. I cried for weeks and had to be put on anti depressants."

"It's not this birth it's that I will have to go through this for the rest of my life. I'll have babies for other people." She looked at Shelby. "I almost wish something would go wrong so I couldn't have any more babies." She shifted in the bed. "I'm a horrible person for saying that."

"No you're not." Shelby ran her thumb over the back of Rachel's hand. "I was relieved when I found out I couldn't have any more kids. You're not alone in your feelings, Rachel."

"Thanks." Rachel smiled but it didn't reach her eyes. "Do you mind if I sing? She's really kicking. Too hard actually. It hurts."

Shelby smiled. "You don't have to ask to sing but keep it quiet." She stood up and walked to the door, smiling as Rachel started to sing to the child inside her. "I'll be right back."

Slipping from the room and headed down the hall, taking the elevator to the basement. Not knowing if Rachel was hers was killing her. She couldn't go on looks alone. The basement was dark and colder than the upstairs and she hurried to the lab where her friend and co-worker Emma worked in the lab. She handled test results and DNA testing.

"Shelby?" Emma tuned from the counter she stood at, her long red hair pulled into a bun, her lab coat as white as the lights overhead. "I thought you had a new charge? How's Quinn? Has someone adopted the baby?"

Shelby leaned against the counter. "She's as well as can be expected. And my new charge is what I came down here for. I think she might be my daughter."

Emma's eyes widened. "Really? Shelby if you want me to check you know it's against the rules."

Shelby grabbed Emma's arm. "Please. I need to know. She needs to know."

Emma gently pried Shelby's fingers from her arm, keeping her hand locked with Shelby's. "You don't need a DNA test to determine if she's your daughter. If you both feel that connection-"

"I do. It's like looking at a younger version of myself. She's singing to her child just like I sang to mine." She didn't know she'd been crying until she felt the wetness on her cheeks. "I've dreamed of meeting her for sixteen years and if she isn't mine-I don't want to form a relationship only to have it be based on some theory. So please Emma, please do this for me. For Rachel."

Emma sighed but nodded, giving Shelby's hand a squeeze. "Okay but tell no one. I could lose my job."

Shelby freed her hand from Emma's grip, throwing her arms around her. "Thank you," she said tearfully. Pulling back, she hewed for the door. "I have to go tell Rachel."

She exited the room, unable to keep the smile from her face and headed to the fourth floor. Approaching the nurse's station, she spotted Quinn there.

"Quinn, is everything all right? What are you doing out of bed?"

When Quinn turned around there were tears on her cheeks, yet she was smiling. "I have to show you something. In my room. Please."

"What is it? Are you okay?" Shelby followed the girl down the hall. Yesterday she'd been in tears and today she was all smiles, just a day after having her baby taken from her. "Quinn, honey, what's going on?"

Quinn said nothing as she opened the door to her room, revealing a blonde woman holding a pink bundle. "Shelby, this is Judy Febray. She adopted my daughter. She's taking me to live with her."

Shelby stared at Quinn then at the woman. She'd never heard of such a thing happening. "I see. How did you find out it was Quinn who had the baby?"

Judy took a step forward. "I knew Quinn before she became a Breeder. Believe it or not, there are people who don't believe this Breeding thing is right. I belong to an organization trying to rescue the moms either before the babies are born or directly after. Quinn said I could trust you to speak of this to no one. I am Taking Quinn and the baby and she isn't coming back."

Shelby stared at her, not sure how to reply. So many questions ran through her mind but only one did she dare ask. "How will you help others? I won't tell. I'd like to help if I could." Could this woman get Rachel out of here before the baby was born?

"I was hoping you would say that." Judy kept her voice low as she'd been doing all along. "There are several within our group that have agreed to help, adopt the babies and take the mothers as nanny's. That's what we are telling the Officials. I need a list of all the women here about to give birth."

Shelby nodded. This had to be some trick. Yet the seriousness in Judy's eyes told her it wasn't. There would be hope of getting Rachel out of here along with her baby. And if she played her cards right, her dram of becoming a mother would finally come true.


End file.
